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My Confessional (Sad Song, Dad's Song)

from My Tell​-​Tale Heart by Matthew L. Farris

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about

My confessional.......from some really dark times.

lyrics

Verse 1)
Nights fall days change weeks fly pain stays
Angst be like waves takin painstaking great lengths
Not to break down it's got too late now
Glad I dropped the bottle dont need shots per day now
When my dad died I fell bad a landslide
Man I can't lie yeah I was that guy
Can't cry cast iron heart like I had pride
Shoulda been in therapy not between some damn thighs
Uh I first was avoiding the hurt but
Fuck last names started forgetting the first ones
The best and the worst buzz more of the latter
Cause the more I didn't think about the more it would matter
There ain't no preparing for the cloudiest days
You'll never meet the boy you taught me how I should raise
I'll show him how to behave, speak aloud and be brave
So much better than his father in those cowardly days

Hook)
Its My confessional
Lord forgive me I'm a sinner I did things
I was living so shifty
My confessional
To my fam I'm sorry I promised
Guess I couldn't really be the man that you wanted
My confessional
To my son don't blame me
I'm a product of depression untreated and angry
My confessional
To anybody who's left
I got a little more I gotta get off the chest

Break)
I've been a liar and a thief and a cheater and a druggie
Man who the fuck I'm kidding I still feel kinda scummy

Verse 2)
Spent a rent check to get my story told in a booth
Used to lie to my girl more than I told her the truth
Couldn't catch me with a polograph not a chance I'll be damned
My family trees not burning to it's smoldering roots
Cause there was one time that we split talking permanent evict
Wasn't curbing my drinking so much bourbon I'd be sick
Worse I would treat her like it's her that's the reject
My God I was nothing like a person to be with
I left New year's Eve I was packed I was jacked I was smashed hours later had some freak on my lap
That became a pattern of abuse I would use to excuse all the bottles that were loose in my room
And the ashtrays empty weed sacks lay around
Can't say that it wasn't like emotional Band-Aids
The fuck would my dad think look at me back then
Regrets that I have couldn't fit in a track and
it's my confessional

credits

from My Tell​-​Tale Heart, released March 7, 2020

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Matthew L. Farris Chicago, Illinois

Matthew L. Farris is not a rapper. He prefers not to be referred to as such. 
 With new releases detailing the demons of his past, he's proven to be not only versatile but resilient. His goal now, as he puts it, is to "Reach those who need to be reached". With a melancholy yet melodic tone combined with aggressive diary-like lyrics, Mathew aims to grow his niche fan base, now more than ever... ... more

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